The Hologram
by Raya Kor-El
Summary: The antimatter wave was coming. We all knew it was. This Earth was only a temporary home until we stopped the Crisis. But we didn't know what would happen until then, or what the cost would be. But we all thought that we had time, but we were wrong. I was wrong. And now it's time to face the consequences. Crisis AU [Oneshot]


_If you don't sacrifice for what you want, what you want will be the sacrifice._

* * *

I walked into the office that Iris had showed me and sat down on the stiff chair. It was small, dusty, and very different compared to my old office. Not that I minded, in fact, I was grateful for the sentiment. The view didn't look over the skyline, but instead a small coffee shop on the corner of the street. I placed down some equipment that I was carrying in my bag and spun around on the chair.

Just as I did so, there was a knock at the door. "Who's there?" I called. "It's me and Alex." Nia announced.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose while I debated letting them in. I exhaled harshly as I stood up and unlocked the door. "What do you want?" I asked.

"Why did you lock your door?" Alex asked back.

"It's a strange Earth. I can't trust _anything_." I stated plainly. I could feel Alex rolling her eyes at me even as she had her back to me as she walked into my office.

"Yeah, that's actually why we're here. Firstly, to thank you for all your help with the portal. Otherwise, none of us would be here. You're a hero, Lena." Nia started and smiled at me.

I scoffed. "Yeah, now I'm a hero. Just a few days ago I was the villain. Isn't that right Alex?"

Nia seemed confused. "What are you talking about?"

I laughed. "Oh you don't know? Alex, Kara, and the rest of the DEO had Claymore missiles pointed at me. Ready to blow me up along with the mountainside." I waved around my hand nonchalantly.

Nia spun to meet Alex's eyes. "What the hell, Alex, why wasn't I told?"

Alex took a swig of whiskey that she poured from my bottle. "It's been a whirlwind these last few days." She offered.

"But why? Lena has done nothing but help us. And that doesn't sound like Kara. Like at all." She pointed out.

"Yeah, well you don't know her as well as you thought, Nia." I deadpanned.

"It wasn't Kara, Nia. Kara had no clue about any of it until I already put it in place. She disobeyed my direct orders to go and stop you, _save you_, Lena. She didn't know about the virus we sent to attack your system and stop the launch of whatever you have planned. She was honest in her intentions, we were not." Alex explained.

"I don't care. You're all the same. I only did what I did because millions of people didn't deserve to die because of our issues. It's always been for the greater good. I tried to tell Kara that, but she didn't listen. None of you did." I spat.

"Lena! What are you saying? We never intended on hurting you. Everything that happened, everything that we did, was never meant to hurt you, or betray your trust. Come on, you know us!" Nia tried to argue.

"Enough! I've had enough of this. Making me the villain. I've played my part for now. I've saved the Earth, well our Earth's citizens to the best of my ability, so now you all can leave. I'll see you all in the next catastrophe." I stated.

"Lena wait-" Nia tried to reach out, but Alex grabbed her. "Come on Nia, she's done talking to us." Alex spoke quietly.

They both started to walk out of my small office, but Nia stopped abruptly. "We will always love you, Lena. We will always protect you, even if you hate us. We could never hate you. Please try to find it in your heart to come back to us. We'll always be waiting." She stated and turned back to the door.

"Nia." I called. She immediately turned around. "Don't come back here. I don't need false pity. Not for a Luthor like me." I whispered the last part.

Her shoulders slumped and tears glimmered in her eyes. She shook her head.

"You were never a Luthor to us. You were Lena, _our_ Lena, our family." She turned without another word and closed the door behind her.

I walked over to my bottle of whiskey that Alex left open and took a quick hit from the bottle itself. I cringed as it burned the back of my throat before setting it down and walking over to some equipment. I decided that if this was going to be my office, I might as well arrange it to be so. An hour later, I had all my gear set up, except my newest invention. I sat on the floor as I started to arrange the parts.

I made quick work of setting up the antimatter wave scanner as well as the bottle of whiskey. The world swayed as I finished the last touches of the scanner and I chucked the bottle in the trash. My stomach clenched as I hadn't eaten anything in a while. I drunkenly pulled myself off the ground and headed down to the coffee shop.

I ordered a small sandwich and a coffee to go. As I waited, I glanced around the shop. It was not too busy, minus some people who looked like they were in a study group. There was also a man in the corner sipping his coffee while he typed on his computer. This world had no idea what had just happened to our Earth, and they had no clue about what could be coming.

My order was finished and I grabbed it off the corner, before giving the barista a tip. She smiled at me flirtatiously and I was going to give her a polite smile before my phone started to buzz in my pocket. I checked it and saw it was the antimatter wave scanner sending off an alert.

I ran to my office with my things in my hand. I threw them to the small table as I rushed to the computer.

WAVE IMMINATE. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. WAVE IMMINATE. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY.

I furiously typed away at the keyboard, hoping that there was an error. I refreshed my system but I still got the same code.

"This cannot be happening, not this fast. Please, please, please." I begged the computer as I continued to type away. We just got here and there was no other place to go. No other Earth to jump to.

I sat back as I triple checked my system, the math was right, the algorithms were too, it was my instinct that was wrong. I thought, no hoped, we would have had at least a week or so before the wave reached us, but I was wrong.

We were all going to die.

I bit my lip before sending a text to Alex, warning her of the wave and telling her to tell the others. I sat there for a second as the inevitability of my fast approaching death circled my mind.

"Eve!" I called in panic but received no answer.

"Hope!" I tried again, but still nothing.

It rushed back to me that they took her after Non Nocere failed. They took the one person I had close to me, even if it wasn't exactly their choice. I pushed away everyone else. I was alone.

And I was going to die that way; alone and it was entirely my fault.

I swallowed the fear and pride in my throat and called Kara.

No answer. The skies burned red and orange. The fear clawed back into my mouth and spread to the rest of my body. I called Kara again. Voicemail.

"Damn it pick up your phone!" I shouted.

The orange tinted sun reflected off something momentarily. My watch.

No, the watch that Kara gave me for emergencies. I drunkenly stumbled to the desk and grabbed the watch. I threw the face open and pressed harshly on her symbol.

_Please, Kara. Answer it. Please, don't let me die alone_. I begged mentally.

_Did she finally give up on me? Did she finally decide to cut ties with a Luthor?_

I looked down the street and saw a red wave surging as it dissipated anything in its path.

_She must've. She didn't care anymore._

"Where are you?" I called grimly just as the wave hit me. A cold nothingness enveloped my mind as I drifted off.

* * *

I gasped awake after what felt like a second and pulled myself up into a sitting position. I felt my heart beating in my chest, I was alive. I looked around and everything seemed the same. The small office still smelled like old papers and my coffee.

I got off the floor and went over to the scanner. There was no evidence of the wave. Was this what was on the other side of the wave? Or was the wave just that? A wave of matter, but nothing to make lasting damage or changes?

I shook my head and backed away from the computer. I found my coffee that was spilled as I threw it earlier when the alarm was going off. I sighed and my stomach growled. I was about to leave the office and head back to the coffee shop when I saw a blue flash on my desk. I wandered back over.

There was a hologram message for me. I furrowed my eyebrows as it wasn't there when the wave was eating at the horizon.

I sat down and clicked play.

There was Kara, in all her glory. Her new super suit radiated strength, but her face told a different story. Her eyes glimmered with something dark, but I couldn't exactly tell what.

_"__Lena, I'm sorry."_

"I told you, Kara. I'm done hearing your pathetic attempts at apologies. What you did can never be fixed." I spat bitterly, thinking of my last moments before the wave hit me.

"_I know I messed up. And I know how angry you are, especially now during this Crisis. I know how much you don't want to work with me, or with any of our family."_

"Yeah, I finally think that _your_ family finally got that through their thick heads."  
"_But I just wanted to say thank you, for everything that you've done for us. For our Earth. I know you think you're just like Lex, and Lillian, but your actions say otherwise. You're good, Lena. You're so good, it pains me when you say you're not. Because if you think that you're not, then I know that I'm evil. And maybe I am, especially how I lied to you." _She hung her head.

"Yeah, right to my face. You crafted our friendship on lies, on secrets, on _mistrust_. So see me as evil, as you think I am. As I know I am. But I have a means to my actions. You, you're just selfish, uncaring, and two-faced with no end goal. You're a snake. That suit is a lie. You don't stand for us all, you stand for only yourself, and your ego."

I saw the muscles tighten on her jaw.

_"__You were my best friend, and you still are. I don't care what you say, I will still fight for you. I'm going to fight for you, until the very end. I will fight, and I will save you all, no matter what it takes."_

Her tone changed and something dropped in my stomach. This sounded like a farewell. This sounded- wrong. Not like Kara.

"Kara, what are you planning?" There was a slight edge to my voice. She didn't respond. Instead, she looked down at the ground again and took a shaky breath.

She looked up. _"The Crisis is bigger than we thought, and the Anti-Monitor is close to winning. The others have hope. But I don't. I'm supposed to be the Paragon of Hope, but I see no other option. There is no other way."_ Her body language shifted to something dejected.

"Kara, what are you going to do?" I asked again. She didn't respond, again.

Anger rose in my throat. "Damn it, what are you planning to do!" I shouted at the hologram.

She swallowed visibly. "_I'm so sorry, Lena. This is the only way. Ray says that there is a wave of anti-matter on the way to Earth right now. We have to stop it-"_ I tried to cut her off.

"No! It's already gone!" I tried to shout, but she kept talking.

_"-__I hope that I can stop it before it hits, but I don't think I'll see the aftermath."_ Tears rushed down her face.

"What? No! What are you talking about?"

She looked away again, in shame. _"This is why I was made a Paragon, to give hope to you, and everyone else. I'm going to use the Book of Destiny to stop it all. I'm going to take down the Anti-Monitor. I'm going to bring our Earth back. I'm going to bring back everyone we lost. I don't know what's going to happen to me, but I hope this message gets to you-"_

_It's a recorded message? Fuck!_

"This is a recorded message? Kara! What have you done?"

She looked so small, no longer like Supergirl in her suit, but a scared and alone Kara Danvers. Her strength was sapped out of her body. I rushed over to the panel, hoping to save the message before it was deleted by the security algorithm I created.

_"__I hope that you will continue the Luthor Legacy in the way you hoped."_

I typed furiously as she continued to speak._ "I hope that you'll continue to live life to the fullest. And I hope that you find happiness. And I'm sorry for everything I've done to you."_

The panel beeped as it tried to buffer and recover the beginning of the message. _"Just please, forgive our family. Hate me for as long as you want, just forgive them. They love you."_

_Please, please, please, save the message_.

There was a beat of silence and I looked back to the hologram.

Kara locked eyes with me, and it felt like she was actually there, looking directly into my soul. She smiled. _"__Goodbye Lena. __I love you."_ The hologram blurred, but not before I saw tears streak down her face.

She disappeared as quickly as she appeared in my office.

My shoulders dropped as the panel gave me an error code. I couldn't recover the entire message. I dropped to the ground, defeated and utterly devastated.

All the alcohol and dread in my system weighed down on my soul, and I curled up into a ball. I sobbed until I fell into a restless sleep.

There was a light chirping noise the ate away at my sleep, steadily annoying me the longer it went. I groaned and pulled myself off the floor. My body was stiff, my feet were numb, and my head throbbed along with the chirping. I walked over to my desk and grabbed the water that was sitting on the edge. I took a sip, hoping to calm my chaotic thoughts and steady my body.

The chirping consistently mocked me, and I started to get extremely annoyed. I couldn't pin point exactly where it was coming from, as it was too silent to hear if I walked around the office.

I clenched my jaw in annoyance and threw the water bottle to the ground. Suppressed anger fueled my frustration and only made me more focused on finding the source of that damn noise.

After 15 minutes of searching in the most ludicrous areas, I dropped to the ground once again, but this time using a cabinet as a support for my back. I wiped away hot frustrated tears as guilt and regret washed over me.

Kara was gone, and there was nothing I could do. I kept her at arms length for so long after Lex told me the truth, and I was going to pay for it for the rest of my life. I was never going to see her face again, or hear her voice. Perhaps it was karma.

Karma cursing me for all that I said to her. All the nasty thoughts and all that rage aimed at her finally came back to me.

If this was the price for it, then so be it. I deserved nothing less.

I looked over to the computer and saw a small red light.

_It couldn't be, could it?_

I slowly stalked back to my desk and I tiredly typed away. There, I saw a short video added to my albums. I clicked on it, not really in the mindset to understand what I was seeing right away as sorrow overrode my system.

Kara's stricken face flashed before my eyes.

"_Goodbye Lena. I love you."_

Tears pricked at my eyes and I gave her once last smile. I tilted my head up to the ceiling, closed my eyes savoring her last recorded moments, and allowed the tears to fall.

"Thank you."

**Choo choo! All aboard the angst train! Hey guys, I told you that I'd have a oneshot coming soon. And boy oh boy did I have some ideas hit me when I finally saw the crossover yesterday. This was just the most front running idea as Lena and the others seemingly disappeared once we got deeper into the event so I decided to give it a oneshot. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and have a great day ~Raya Kor-El**


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